Updated: Apr 3, 2020
As a new decade approaches it’s important to reflect on your own needs. Be that your Physical, Mental and / or Emotional wellbeing. Your very own mindset and behaviours influence overall success. Here’s 8 actions that will change your World: 1. Be clear on your goals and intentions for the New Year and let noone get in your way, not even yourself. Once you have your goals, keep it safe with you. This is yours baby. There's a reason why this goal is so important to you. Be aware of any gut feelings you have towards people who bring you down. Straight out negative and unhelpful comments like “ It’s already been done before”, “How is that going to make you money?”, “Aren’t you a little too old / young for that?”, “That sounds hard to do”. Though people feel they’ve got the right intentions in looking out for you, they’re unaware of their own self doubt that project onto YOUR dreams. Every person has their unique experiences and beliefs that differ from yours. Someone else may only see negative challenges and hurdles, whereas you’re optimistic and excited, not letting Fear stop you. Successful people don’t let self limiting beliefs interfere with their passion. Whether it’s from others or your own thoughts. 2. Say “No” to things that do not align with you. Fear Of Missing Out or FOMO, drives many “Yes’s” in Life. Let’s be real. How often have you let the fear of missing out or obligations and expectations drive your commitments? Don’t let Fear make that decision for you. If you’ve been presented with an opportunity or task, but deep down you don’t want to do it. It’s okay to say “Thanks, but I’m going to pass”, or ‘No thank you”. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, just be polite and stay true to yourself. Saving you stress, pressure, and even resentment down the line.
3. Unfollow anyone that doesn’t make you feel good. You have the choice. The choice to choose how you feel and what influences it. You choose what movie you want to watch. You choose what music to listen to, food to eat, and pyjamas to wear that make you feel good. Let that be the same for the people you follow on social media. Social media is a great place to get inspired and connect with like-minded people (and share memes with your friends). However if following an account is making you feel anxious, depressed, stressed, pressured, and any other negative feeling; unfollow that account. People post their “best self” online. They don't look or live that way in real Life. For that perfect shot, the photography setting needs to “look” perfect. So when you compare your Life with theirs, it's on different wavelengths and only leads to you feeling crap. There are beautiful accounts that actually share positivity like: @thegoodquote @louise_hay_affirmations @thirdeyethoughts @gabbybernstein @beyondnutritionwellness (oh hey there!) 4.Do things that truly make you happy You do a lot of things you probably don’t enjoy like waiting in traffic, being put on “hold”, working with negative coworkers… if you continuously put yourself in states that bring you down, you bet you will FEEL DOWN. Let’s change that. When you focus your energy on feeling good, more good things flow through. What makes you feel good? Exercise, painting, yoga, beach, coffee, reading, singing, dancing, facials, getting your nails done, hugging, meditating, gardening, walking in nature, giving your doggo or fur baby a cuddle, eating nourishing food, sex, catching up on sleep, travelling, golf, rocking climbing, surfing, playing with your kids, massage, exploring, cooking, baking, creating music, drawing, crafts, puzzles.. Do more of the things that bring you JOY.
5. Choose Love and not Fear Every thought, feeling, decision,behaviour we experience can come from either a place of Love or Fear. Fear- “My boss is so grumpy this morning. They’re going to be difficult to work with later. I better not say anything stupid..” Love- “My boss doesn’t seem like their usual self today, I wonder if something happened to them. I’ll just check in to see if they’re okay.” The difference between the two ways of thinking will lead to different outcomes. Which one do you think will result more positively? Always choose Love. With that, kindness and compassion comes easily. When you share these, you will feel good. 6. Take time for self care. That is fundamental nutrition, hydration, sleep, stress management and inflammation, don’t forget mental and emotional wellbeing. You live a busy Life. I get that. You give to your career, relationships, family, friends, and any other commitments you’ve agreed to. But what about you? If you’re sleep deprived, struggle with anxiety, are in pain and can’t poop, you think you’ll be in a good place to provide to others? You can try but trust me, it’s not going to last long or end well for anyone. You cannot give the World your best if you do not FEEL your best. So make time for yourself.
7. Work through anything that doesn’t serve you: anger, fear, regret, shame, guilt, low self esteem, low confidence, and self doubt. These pre-programmed thoughts and beliefs evolved since you were a child, and guess what? The body remembers the same stress response and once triggered whether it's the same situation or similar, you automatically experience those thoughts and sensations. Again. I’ll give you an example; you promised yourself you won’t get upset when your mum or dad said something unhelpful and rude. They said something unhelpful and rude, and you got upset. If you’ve endured repetitive negative thoughts and emotions in the same situation in the past, you'll likely get triggered again despite your best intentions. Learn what your triggers are. The mind and body can re-learn healthier responses to breakthrough negative reactions.
I suggest seeing a professional, someone that isn’t your partner or friend. Though your loved ones do love and want to see you get better, this is your own journey where you need to build yourself up without needing to be comforted by others. Your loved ones won’t always be there for you at the exact time you need them. Heal your own wounds first.
8. Reflect on inner happiness. i.e .Health, relationships, friendships, career.. This one is a biggie. Alas, we come to true inner happiness. It's easy to think external factors such as a change in our environment, like getting a promotion, moving into a new house, getting more Likes on your Facebook status, or having the latest phone will make you happy. Real happiness and satisfaction will feel genuine to you. There is nothing like it. What happens when people ignore their true feelings? They use band-aids to numb the pain, through alcohol, cigarettes, comfort eating, drug abuse, shopping, gambling, sex addiction..yet the real conflict within hasn’t been fully resolved. Working with me, we get to the bottom of this in consult. What’s holding you back from your greatest potential? You always have a choice in this Life. Wrapping up With a brand new shiny decade awaiting us all. Don’t be afraid to let go of what doesn’t serve you and do more of the things that make you Happy. Have a wonderful and health New Years! Until next time Bonny. C ~